The Family

The Family
This is us about 6 hours after Elijah arrived. I'm happy because the phenergan had worn off and no I'm not on pain meds here.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Holidays are Here..........

And I wish I could go to bed and sleep through them. Its just not the same without Blake here. He is going to miss Elijah's first Christmas, and even though Elijah won't remember, the first Christmas is always special. Thanksgiving is my FAVORITE holiday. I have so much to be thankful for. I was sitting here thinking today that 8 years ago I was in the hospital with Kale and mom and Stacy brought some Thanksgiving dinner to us. I look at where he is blessed and thankful. He has beaten the odds in the past and continues to every day. After Blake left I got to mom's house and he stood up and gave me a hug. Actually the first time he has given a big squeeze hug when he wasn't sick-I'm so thankful for that. He knew just what mommy needed. I am thankful that Elijah is healthy. I never take his health for granted. True there are days, alot here lately, where I want to ring his neck for getting into stuff. I stop myself and say out loud "Thank you God for giving me a child who can get into stuff at such a young age". I am thankful I have my boys, I don't know how I would have made it this far in the deployment without him.

I am thankful for Blake. True, he works my nerves, but in his defense he is a man!! Or at least he was last time I checked ;) I sit back and read old emails of fights we had and think of the breaking up and all that crap when we were dating. There is no doubt in my mind that it was in God's plan all along for us to be together. Just in the past month we have gone from seriously thinking we weren't going to make it, to really connecting. Honestly, I never knew I could connect so deeply with someone. I am so thankful for that!! I am thankful that he and all the guys with him are safe!! Even though I don't know most of them in person, I feel that I know them because of the stories Blake has told me. I am so proud to be his wife! I am so proud of where our family is and where it is going!

I am thankful for my family! Although, living close again has made me realize I LOVE and crave my distance from them, I am still very thankful for them. For the most part they are ok people haha I am thankful that I am a stay at home mom, being able to watch my kids grow and develop. I know Elijah will have to go to daycare soon, because he is starting to get major separation anxiety-and quite frankly mommy needs a break!!! I am thankful that the new housing people on post are at least considering bumping us to the top of the list-now if we can only get a house!! I know I am very blessed in life. True I may not be the size I want to be, have the bank account I would like, but all in all I have a great life!

Last but not least I couldn't have made it this far without my friends. I have the bestest friends in the world! I am not going to name names, but 3 call me at least 4 times a week and listen to me bitch and complain!! Thats my adult conversation for the week-no really it is. This Holiday season is going to be a rough one for me, so IF I see you and don't chime out a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, please take no offense at it. I am doing my best to get into the Holiday spirit, I have to for my boys. Now when you are in the kitchen cooking and your spouse keeps saying is it ready yet or gets in your way please don't yell at him/her. Remember how blessed you are that he/she is there next to you to irritate you. I chose life as a military wife, but that doesn't make it any easier. I still miss Blake, still can't sleep without panic attacks or nightmares waking me up, BUT I put one foot in front of the other and try. So please let that be enough. Now that I am crying like a little baby I will say this-Happy Thanksgiving!! Be thankful for what you have and that we live in a free country. Say an extra prayer for all of the men and women in uniform, their families really do appreciate it.

Blake if you read this....I love you and I miss you!! I will see you in a few months. Stay safe!! 143

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Since its been a month.....

I decided to grace everyone with my pressence. Before you ask, yes you should feel honored. Nothing has happened really. The boys and I had some Christmas pics taken on Sunday and I look like a bloated red skittle!!! WTF?!?! I am flippin HUGE!!!!!!! Blake is so gonna think I ate his wife, instead of being his wife. To my shock, we did get some good pictures. The boys finally calmed down and stopped screaming long enough to get some good shots. Deployment has posed its own set of issues. Getting adjusted to married life is hard enough, let alone doing it while separated by 9 thousand miles. Slowly but surely we are working through things and we will be ok(crossing fingers). I ordered us the book called The Love Dare. Its the book that Fireproof is based on, so we are both going to read it and journal and see what happens.

In the mean time I am going to keep hanging in there. Everyone is trying to help and pull strings to get me back to Ft Sill. I hope it all works and fast!! Moving back to Arkansas has been one of my biggest regrets ever. Live and learn-right?!?! The school here sucks big ones. I mean I knew it wouldn't be what we had in Lawton, but I was at least expecting Harrisburg standards.........haha yeah right. So far they have managed to lose him and break his stroller all in the same week. Yes that is right, break his 5 thousand dollar stroller I worked 5 years to get. IF I can find someone from the company to come fix it, you can best bet this woman won't be paying the bill. They broke it, they will fit it.

Kale is doing good. Not really doing anything new, but not going backwards so that is good. We are hitting the sign language hard and heavy to see if he will start using it. He lost his first tooth in Sept and the permanent one still hasn't come in yet. Elijah is now pulling up and has his 2 front bottom teeth. His 2 front top teeth are poking through so they will be completley in before long-I hope. Thats right RK, you are being shown up by a 9 month old!!

Blake is now SGT!!!! He got promoted on Nov 1 and I am so proud of him. He worked hard and it has paid off. Now that he is SGT there is even less time for us to communicate, but that is the price you pay. I was always raised with the thinking of family first no matter what. Now that I married into the military, its a whole new way of thinking. The Army comes first now, especially during deployment and honestly its a swift kick in the ego. I'm like who does this Army bitch think she is?? So my new name is Mistress Lindsey. Sounds like a stripper name and extra money doesn't hurt :)

Other than that nothing much has been going on. Just trying to keep busy so time flies. Just taking everything one day at a time and trying to handle everything myself. Last thing I want to do is worry Blake with things. Crap with us is strained enough without me adding every day worries to it. Just in a nasty funk again. My blood work is still funky and my thyroid is still not regulated. Dr says rest more and don't stress!! What's that?? Is she serious?? Well I am going to bed's orders. Well it is after midnight. 143